Getting Uncomfortable

This summer is so different than I what pictured. 

I don't know why I ever thought that it would be simple to start a conversation with a prostitute. Or that bar-hopping would be easy. Or why I thought that seeing the depth of this darkness wouldn't have an impact on me personally- as if my emotions have an "on" and "off" button. 

Let me tell you: they don't.

Its hard seeing these things. And I don't understand why.

Why God, are these girls put in these awful situations?

Why do these men think that what they're doing is okay?

Why does the government let this go on?

Why are there not more Christians here shining a light in this darkness? 

These are the questions that plague me as we walk down the streets, passing innumerable bars filled with beautiful girls, barely dressed, waiting to be bought for the night. 

And I'm so uncomfortable.

This is not what I'm used to doing. Ministry here is a whole new ball field for this girl from Tennessee. I'm not you're typical college girl that hangs in clubs and is the life of the party in bars. I'm not even good at playing pool. Seriously, I just embarrass myself. And its honestly a struggle for me to just sit and make small talk with girls that I seem to have nothing in common with. Different language. Different culture. Different beliefs. Different style. Seemingly, different everything. 

But I'm also so thankful. Because I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is where Jesus' heart is, in the midst of this darkness and sin. These are his daughters that He deeply loves. This is where he has me during this season. This is where He is moving. This is where He is going to do great things- and it will all be because of Him. 

Because I realize my weakness. I feel so unequipped. In and of myself- with my own power, I can accomplish nothing.

But His voice sweetly reminds me,

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9 

And I'm thankful for my weaknesses, because when hearts are changed and eyes are opened I'll have no doubt that it was only Him, through His power alone. 

So I'm content in my own weakness. Content in His power.

Content in being uncomfortable. 

Isn't that where we're supposed to be? Living uncomfortably? 

Because I know that Jesus wasn't comfortable as He hung on the cross and paid for our sins.

And I know that the disciples weren't comfortable as they, all but one, were martyred for His sake.

If they, how much more should I? 

And in light of their sufferings, I welcome this light momentary season of being uncomfortable. 

For His namesake,
Lindy

"For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as LORD, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' has shown in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." 
2 Corinthians 4:5-6